


Parodies

by thescoura



Category: Homestuck
Genre: NSFW, Not a fanfic, Other, Parodies, Sadstuck
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-13
Updated: 2017-03-18
Packaged: 2018-06-02 01:35:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 6,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6545128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thescoura/pseuds/thescoura
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>i've made some parodies and i wanted to post them so here you guys go</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Talk Dirty to me (Talk Alternian to me)

**Author's Note:**

> these parodies will likely be updated over time, i also accept requests

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SolKat

CG: I'm that session you glitched on  
[Wait where the fuck did you come from]  
Third class, three year trip on a meteor  
[Oh well this is gonna be fun.]

CG: 'Cause I know what the trolls they need  
[From Derse to Prosp(EE)t]  
I got chalk drawings on the walls [Already? Jesus]  
[Make it hard to see.]

CG: Have yet to see the world of Prospit  
But I guess.. I need some explaining  
All I really need to understand is  
Will you  
Talk Alternian to me.

CG: Talk Alternian to me  
Talk Alternian to me  
Talk Alternian to me.

CG: You know the words to my logs  
No habla Ingles  
Our conversations are.. Very, very long  
But you know why it is.

CG: I know what the teams they need  
[Lalonde to Captor]  
Chalk drawings all around the meteor  
Hey gods, we need a new one!

CG: Have yet to see the world of Prospit  
[Hey, someone wake me up already!!]  
All i really need to understand is  
Will you  
Talk Alternian to me.

CG: Talk Alternian to me  
Talk Alternian to me  
Talk Alternian to me.

CG: Uno, met a friend in Prospit  
Dos, wait, isn't he Der-  
Tres, how did he manage a duo?  
Cuatro, Oh Sollux!  
[Who wrote these lyrics-]

TA: Dos protuberancias(two bulges), I am a genius  
Sold out codes, you can suck my bulges  
Get with codes, psionics on deck [Deck]  
Chest to chest, tongue on neck [Neck]  
International oral sex  
Every picture I take, I pose a threat  
Boasting or jetting, your choice KK  
His nook's so good I bought him a pet  
Anyway, every day I'm trying to get to it  
Got him saved in my phone under "Plush Booty"  
Anyway, every day I'm trying to get to it  
Got him saved in my phone under "Plush Booty".

CG: Have yet to see the world of Prospit  
But I guess.. I need some explaining  
All I really need to understand is  
Will you  
Talk Alternian to me.

CG: Talk Alternian to me [Yeah, yeah right SOLLUX!]  
TA: Talk Alternian to me [Talk about it, you liked my part]  
Talk Alternian to me [Oh yeah, get jazzy on him]  
CG: What?? I don't understand.


	2. Lollipop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous trickster

??: Ah, let's dress up in sugar-coated candy and go out  
Sweet lollipop factory.

??: When small things will happen, I will easily laugh  
But, as I keep on kissing  
We infectiously laugh together  
So, we will be happy forever.

??: The fancy clothing is replaced by candy  
I'm chasing a happy ending  
Where nobody will understand.

??: Ah, let's dress up in sugar-coated candy and go out  
Ah, I'll give my kisses to all  
Everyone will smile  
Sweet lollipop factory.

??: When small things make me feel sad, I will never cry  
My candy-coated heart will never be fried  
And as i keep on laughing,  
You also start to laugh, and that makes me happier.

??: My candy heart goes round and round  
Rainy drops may drip down  
But my beloved candy will forever be sugar-bound.

??: Ah, if I infect people all over the world with a candy kiss  
Ah, we share smiles  
And we can kiss again  
Sweet lollipop fantasy.

??: Hey, did you know our kisses cause chain reactions and influence each other?  
To make someone smile, I knew your kiss would be  
Needed!

??: Ah, let's dress up in sugar-coated candy and go out  
I'm sure your lovely kisses will be someone's happiness  
Sweet lollipop factory.


	3. Let it go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nepeta  
> (Created by Fef and I)

AC: A notebook that is full of ships  
Not a broken one in sight  
A cave of isolated ships  
And it looks like I'm the queen.

AC: The trolls are howling since they learned of all the ships  
Couldn't keep it in  
Heaven knows I tried.

AC: Don't let them see, keep it a surprise  
Be the cute cat they always think you are  
Conceal the feels, don't let them know  
Well, now they know.

AC: Don't let him go, don't you dare  
Can't hold it back anymore  
Don't let him go, don't you dare  
Go to the bedroom and slam the door.

AC: I don't care what they're going to say  
Let the trolls rage on  
Their opinions never bothered me anyway.

AC: It's funny how some blood  
Makes everything colorful  
And the trolls that once controlled me  
Can't get to me at all.

AC: It's time to see what I can do  
To test the crack ships and break through  
No right, no wrong, no rules for me  
I'm free!

AC: Don't let him go, don't you dare  
I am one with my ships and drawings  
Don't let him go, don't you dare  
You'll never see me cry.

AC: My power flurries through my fingers and on the wall  
My heart is spiraling in shipping fractals all around  
And one thought makes my heart melt [Like Karkat's death]  
I'm never going back  
The past is in the past!

AC: Don't let him go, don't you dare  
And I'll rise like the moons of Skaia  
Don't let him go, don't you dare  
That perfect girl is gone.

AC: Here I stand  
With grubs' bloods in hand  
Let the trolls rage on  
Their opinions never bothered me anyway.


	4. Clarity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> EriSol  
> (Created by Muffin and I)

TA: I wouldn't dive in those waves even if my life depened on it  
CA: Fighting for your escape, don't bother wasting your time  
Hold still or I'll beat your ass, we both know how this ends  
TA: The clock ticks down 'til I win this str- ED STOP I'M GONNA DROWN.

TA: 'Cause you are a thorn in me, one that I don't need [No, seriously]  
Avoiding you at any cost, still run and I don't know why [Wait yes I do what th-]

CA: 'Cause you are the piece of me I wish I didn't need  
CA / TA: 'Cause you are my kismesis, and I wish I didn't need you.

CA / TA: (Hey-ay, hey-ay-ay. Hey-ay, hey-ay-ay. Hey-ay, hey-ay-ay. Hey-ay, hey).

'Cause you are, my kismesis  
'Cause you are my kismesis, and I wish I didn't need you.

TA: Descending on down the darkest steps through the blood, refusing to see again  
CA: The pain saws through and makes me forget all common sense  
TA: Don't speak as I love you this last time  
CA: If you don't leave then you'll end up like me too.

CA / TA: 'Cause you are the piece of me that I wish I could keep  
Always together, constant teasing and I don't know why.

CA / TA: If our love is black, why do I feel so red?  
If our love is bad why does it feel so good?

CA / TA: (Hey-ay, hey-ay-ay. Hey-ay, hey-ay-ay. Hey-ay, hey-ay-ay. Hey-ay, hey).

CA / TA: Why do I feel so red?  
Why does it feel so good?  
Why do I feel so red?  
Why does it feel so good?

CA / TA: If our love is black, why do I feel so red?  
If our love is bad why does it feel so good?


	5. Forever and Always

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> DaveJohn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry about this being so crappy, it's 3:30 am and i went to a comic con today, i promise i'll fix this up when i can

EB: He was sitting at the table, moons falling faster  
He was supposed to be here  
He's sure he would have called  
He waits a little longer, there's no one in the driveway  
The trolls haven't seen him  
"Why, is something wrong?"  
He looks back to the window  
Suddenly the phone rings  
A voice says something's happened  
That he should come right now  
His mind goes to December  
He thinks of when he asked him  
He bent down on his knee first  
And he said,

TG: "I want you forever, forever and always  
Through the games and the trolls and the death  
We'll grow old together [Well not exactly]  
Forever and always.

EB: He pulls up to the entrance  
He walks right to the front desk  
They take him to a million tests, a game that's never ending  
They talk about what happened but he can barely hear them  
He tries to keep a straight face as he walks into the room  
He sits by his bedside, holds his hand too tight  
They talk about the trolls, they're gonna have the best life  
The house on the hillside, when the game was done.

TG: Stay there forever, forever and always  
Through the game and the trolls and the death  
We'll grow old together, and always remember  
Whether rich or for poor or for better.  
We'll still love each other, forever and always.

EB: Then he gets an idea and calls in the trolls  
Brings up drawing dicks and Karkat groans  
He borrows some papers from the couple next door  
Everybody's laughing as the tears fall on the floor  
He looks into his eyes, and he says,

TG / EB: "I want you forever, forever and always  
Through the games and the trolls and the death  
We'll grow old together, and always remember  
Whether happy or sad or whatever.  
We'll still love each other, forever and always  
Forever and always, forever and always."

TG: He finishes the vows but the beeps are getting too slow  
His voice is almost too low  
TG / EB: As he says, "I love you forever, forever and always  
Please just remember even if I'm not there  
I'll always love you, forever and always."


	6. Bad Romance (Black Romance)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Black DaveKat  
> (Created by Suppa and I)

CG: Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh  
Please help me out of this  
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh! Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh  
Please help me out of this.

CG: Dave made me do this  
TG: Dude shut up  
CG: Dave made me do this  
Want your black romance.

CG: Dave made me do this  
TG: Dude shut up  
CG: Dave made me do this  
Want your black romance.

CG: I want your irony  
I want you to tease  
I want your everything  
As long as it's mean  
I want your black romance  
black-black-black romance  
I want your black romance.

TG: I want your drama  
The nubs on your head  
I want your sweater studded, it'd look pretty grand [Laughter]  
And I want your black romance [What is that even?]  
Black black black I want your black romance.

CG: You know that I want you  
And you know.. that I uh, need you [Not like that you idiot!!]  
I want it black!  
TG: I want your nubs!  
CG: And I want to cringe  
TG / CG : You and me could start a black romance.

TG: oh yeah i want your nubs--  
CG: Shut up or I'll get my friends [I'm not joking!]  
TG / CG: You and me could start a black romance.

CG: I want your cape.. And maybe some revenge!  
TG / CG: You and me could write a black romance  
CG: Caught in a bad suplex..!  
TG: That was a rad suplex  
TG / CG: I want your black romance  
TG: I want your corner [leader corner? I dunno]  
CG: And I want you to DIE  
TG: 'Cause you're so little  
CG: Because you're a tall guy!  
TG: I want your romance  
CG: BLACK BLACK BLACK!  
TG: I want your romance  
CG: UGH you psycho  
TG: It's me or the juggalo, take your pick.

TG: i want your nubs!  
CG: And I want to cringe  
TG / CG : You and me could start a black romance.

TG: I want your nubs  
CG: And I want you 'cool' shades [Not really]  
CG / TG: You and me could make a black romance  
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-ooh)  
TG: I want your nubs and all your sexy rev-  
CG: Stop right ther-  
TG: You and me could make a black romance.

CG: Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh  
Please help me out of this  
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh  
Please help me out of this.

CG: Dave made me do this  
TG: Dude shut up  
CG: Dave made me do this  
Want your black romance.

CG: Dave made me do this  
TG: Dude shut up  
CG: Dave made me do this  
Want your black romance.

TG: Walk, walk, work it baby, work it give a little flash.  
Walk, walk, work it baby, work it give a little flash.  
Walk, walk, work it baby, work it give a little flash.  
Walk, wal-  
CG: Strider! Fuck off asshole!

TG: I want your nubs  
And all your sexy revenge.  
I want your nubs,  
It's too late to be friends.

CG: What the fuck is this shit is this even English?  
TG: Dude just shut up and sing  
TG: It's too late to be friends, black romance to the very end.  
It's too late too be friends, black romance to the very end  
CG / TG: Want your black romance (caught in a black romance) want your black romance.

TG: I want your love and I want all youir sexy revenge  
CG / TG: You and me can make a black romance (Oh-oh-oh-oh-ooh)  
TG: I want your love and all your sexy revenge  
CG / TG: You and me can make a black romance.

CG: Oh-oh-oh-oh-ooh  
TG: Want your black romance  
CG: Please help me out of this  
TG: Dude shut it already oh-oh-oh-oh-ooh  
CG: No get the fuck ou-  
TG: Caught in a black romance.

CG: Dave get out of my room already!  
TG: Dude shut up  
CG: Dave made me do this I SWEAR!  
CG / TG: Want your black romance.


	7. Nae Nae

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hussie  
> (Created by Fef and I)

HUSSIE: Now watch me kill [Kill 'em]  
Now watch 'em drop dead. [Okay]  
Now watch me kill [Kill]  
Now watch them drop dead [Buh-bye].

HUSSIE: Now watch me kill [Kill 'em]  
Now watch 'em drop dead. [Okay]  
Now watch me kill [Kill]  
Now watch them drop dead [Buh-bye].

HUSSIE: Now watch me.

HUSSIE: Ooh watch me, watch me  
Ooh watch me, watch me  
Ooh watch me, watch me  
Ooh ooh ooh ooh.

HUSSIE: Ooh watch me, watch me  
Ooh watch me, watch me  
Ooh watch me, watch me  
Ooh ooh ooh ooh.

HUSSIE: Do the chest impale, do the chest impale  
Do the chest impale, do the chest impale  
Do the chest impale, do the chest impale  
Do the chest impale, do the chest impale.

HUSSIE: Now break their necks  
Break their necks  
Tell 'em "break your necks"  
Break their necks.

HUSSIE: Now break their necks  
Break their necks  
Now break their necks  
Break their necks.

HUSSIE: Now watch me [Slam, stab, slam, slam, stab, slam, stab, slam]  
Now watch me [Slam, stab, slam, slam, stab, slam, stab, slam]

HUSSIE: Now watch me kill [Kill 'em]  
Now watch 'em drop dead. [Okay]  
Now watch me kill [Kill]  
Now watch them drop dead [Buh-bye].

HUSSIE: Now watch me kill [Kill 'em]  
Now watch 'em drop dead. [Okay]  
Now watch me kill [Kill]  
Now watch them drop dead [Buh-bye].

HUSSIE: Now watch me.

HUSSIE: Ooh watch me, watch me  
Ooh watch me, watch me  
Ooh watch me, watch me  
Ooh ooh ooh ooh.

HUSSIE: Ooh watch me, watch me  
Ooh watch me, watch me  
Ooh watch me, watch me  
Ooh ooh ooh ooh.

HUSSIE: Now watch me rule  
Now watch kill a man  
Now watch me rule  
Now watch kill a man  
Now watch me rule  
Now watch kill a man  
Now watch me rule  
Now watch kill a man.

HUSSIE: Now watch them run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run [Get back here]  
Now watch them run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run.

HUSSIE: Now watch me [Slam, stab, slam, slam, stab, slam, stab, slam]  
Now watch me [Slam, stab, slam, slam, stab, slam, stab, slam].

HUSSIE: Now watch me kill [Kill 'em]  
Now watch 'em drop dead. [Okay]  
Now watch me kill [Kill]  
Now watch them drop dead [Buh-bye].

HUSSIE: Now watch me kill [Kill 'em]  
Now watch 'em drop dead. [Okay]  
Now watch me kill [Kill]  
Now watch them drop dead [Buh-bye].

HUSSIE: Now watch me.

HUSSIE: Ooh watch me, watch me  
Ooh watch me, watch me  
Ooh watch me, watch me  
Ooh ooh ooh ooh.

HUSSIE: Ooh watch me, watch me  
Ooh watch me, watch me  
Ooh watch me, watch me  
Ooh ooh ooh ooh.


	8. Cake by the Ocean

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> EriFef *No Feferis were endangered or injured in the making of this parody*

CC: Oh no  
See you walking 'round like it's a funeral  
Not so serious, boy; why's your heart so cold?  
We're just getting started; don't you tip toe, tip toe.

CC: Glub!  
Waste time with studying, don't waste time with studying [Glub!]  
You should be swimming with me, you should be swimming with me [Nyeh]  
CA: You're a real life fantasy, you're a real life fantasy [Glub!]  
But you're moving so carefully; let's start living dangerously.

CC: Talk to me, Eri  
CA: I'm going blind from this sweet, sweet craving  
CC / CA: Let's lose our minds and go fucking crazy  
Let's lose our minds and go crazy crazy  
Ah ya ya ya ya I keep on hoping we'll kill lusii by the ocean  
CC: Walk for me, Eri  
I'll be me, you'll be you  
CC / CA: Let's lose our minds and go fucking crazy  
Let's lose our minds and go crazy crazy  
Ah ya ya ya ya I keep on hoping we'll kill lusii by the ocean [Glub].

CA: Goddamn  
CC: [Language!]  
CA: See you licking water from your own hands  
Want another taste, I'm begging, "Yes, ma'am."  
I'm tired of all this candy on the wet land, wet land.

CC: Waste time with studying, don't waste time with studying [Glub!]  
You should be swimming with me, you should be swimming with me [Nyeh]  
CA: You're a real life fantasy, you're a real life fantasy [Glub!]  
But you're moving so carefully; let's start living dangerously.

CC: Talk to me, Eri  
CA: I'm going blind from this sweet, sweet craving  
CC / CA: Let's lose our minds and go fucking crazy  
Let's lose our minds and go crazy crazy  
Ah ya ya ya ya I keep on hoping we'll kill lusii by the ocean  
CC: Walk for me, Eri  
I'll be me, you'll be you  
CC / CA: Let's lose our minds and go fucking crazy  
Let's lose our minds and go crazy crazy  
Ah ya ya ya ya I keep on hoping we'll kill lusii by the ocean  
Glub glub  
Ah ya ya ya ya I keep on hoping we'll kill lusii by the ocean  
Glub glub  
Ah ya ya ya ya I keep on hoping we'll kill lusii by the ocean [Glub].

CA: You're fucking delicious  
You're crazy delicious  
CC: Talk to me, Eri.

CC: Talk to me, Eri  
CA: I'm going blind from this sweet, sweet craving  
CC / CA: Let's lose our minds and go fucking crazy  
Let's lose our minds and go crazy crazy  
Ah ya ya ya ya I keep on hoping we'll kill lusii by the ocean  
CC: Walk for me, Eri  
I'll be me, you'll be you  
CC / CA: Let's lose our minds and go fucking crazy  
Let's lose our minds and go crazy crazy  
Ah ya ya ya ya I keep on hoping we'll kill lusii by the ocean [Glub].

CC: Candy red, Lyin' dead, Violet in my life  
CA: Feferi, I'm ready; I need it every night  
CC / CA: Candy red, lyin' dead, violet in my life  
Ah ya ya ya ya I keep on hoping we'll kill lusii by the ocean [Glub].


	9. Golden Bling (Hotline Bling)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meenah  
> (Aranea X Meenah is confirmed)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaa it's seven am and i'm so tired, this is more or less just puns lmfao

MEENAH: You used to call me on my, you used to, you used to  
You used to call me on my shell phone  
Late night when you need my puns  
Call me on my shell phone  
Late night when you need my puns  
I know when that golden bling  
That can only mean one fin  
I know when that golden bling  
That can only mean one fin.

MEENAH: Ever since I left the game you  
Got a reputation for yourself now  
Everybody knows and I feel left out  
Gill you got me down, you got me stressed out  
Cause ever since I left the game, you  
Started wearing less and goin' out more  
Glasses of champagne out on the dance floor  
Hangin' with some gills I've never seen before.

MEENAH: You used to call me on my shell phone  
Late night when you need my puns  
Call me on my shell phone  
Late night when you need my puns  
I know when that golden bling  
That can only mean one fin  
I know when that golden bling  
That can only mean one fin.

MEENAH: Ever since I left the game, you, you, you  
You and me we just don't get along  
You make me feel like I did you wrong  
Going places where you don't belong  
Ever since I left the game, you  
You got exactly what you asked for  
Running out of pages in your notebook  
Hanging with some gills I've never seen before.

MEENAH: You used to call me on my shell phone  
Late night when you need my puns  
Call me on my shell phone  
Late night when you need my puns  
I know when that golden bling  
That can only mean one fin  
I know when that golden bling  
That can only mean one fin.

MEENAH: These days, all I do is  
Wonder if you writin' journal entries for someone else  
Wonder if your rollin' backwoods for someone else  
Doing things I taught you gettin' nauty for someone else  
You don't need no one else  
You don't need nobody else, no  
Why you never alone  
Why you always touching road  
Used to always stay at home, be a good gill  
You was in the zone  
You should just be yourself  
Right now, you're someone else.

MEENAH: You used to call me on my shell phone  
Late night when you need my puns  
Call me on my shell phone  
Late night when you need my puns  
I know when that golden bling  
That can only mean one fin  
I know when that golden bling  
That can only mean one fin.

MEENAH: Ever since I left the game.


	10. Break Up in a Small Town

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karezi (broken up)

CG: I knew I'd see her around  
I'd be in some room, she'd show up and I'd be walking out  
Or across some planet, hiding behind her cane [Pfft]  
I'd look up, she'd be with the red chalk beside me  
In that red blindfold with the scented sticker on her shirt  
I'd act like I didn't see her  
We'd play through the same games  
Fall down the same stairs  
And slow down for the same trials  
Run around with the same consorts  
We just needed some time  
She could get on with her life and I'd get on with mine  
Thought I would be fine, heh, but maybe not  
I knew she'd find a way to get over me  
But I'd never thought that,

CG: She would get down with somebody I know  
I guess that's just how it goes  
When you break up on a small rock  
I see our friends and they put on a show  
Like they don't want me to know  
So they give me the go-around.

CG: But there's only so many friends, so many foes  
I swear it's like I can't even leave my block  
I should've known all along  
You gotta move or move on  
When you break up on a small rock.

CG: For a while I guess they were keeping it low-key  
But now it's like this space is closing in on me  
I see 'em everywhere together  
And it's hitting a little too close to home  
She's so far gone, but she didn't go far  
She was over me before the leaves grew back where she used to hang scalemates  
She's leaving those same 'mates in someone else's block  
In someone else's arms right down the hall  
And I never thought that,

CG: She would get down with somebody I know  
I guess that's just how it goes  
When you break up on a small rock  
I see our friends and they put on a show  
Like they don't want me to know  
So they give me the go-around.

CG: But there's only so many friends, so many foes  
I swear it's like I can't even leave my block  
I should've known all along  
You gotta move or move on  
When you break up on a small rock.

CG: Her block is seven minutes from mine  
And I walk into the lab sometimes I see her sittin' there with him  
And I wanna run away  
I wanna cry  
I wanna say, "that guy??" But I can't  
It's my fault, I let her go  
I never thought that

CG: She would get down with somebody I know  
I guess that's just how it goes  
When you break up on a small rock  
I see our friends and they put on a show  
Like they don't want me to know  
So they give me the go-around.

CG: But there's only so many friends, so many foes  
I swear it's like I can't even leave my block  
I should've known all along  
You gotta move or move on  
When you break up on a small rock.


	11. Pretty Fly for a White Guy (Pretty Fly for a Nerdy Guy)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Black EriSol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aa i know this is //a lot// like the original song, i didn't have much inspiration to change it up that much but this is still funny

TA: [Give it to me, baby]  
Uh-huh Uh-huh!  
[Give it to me, baby]  
Uh-huh Uh-huh!  
[Give it to me, baby]  
Uh-huh Uh-huh!  
And all the girlies say  
I'm pretty fly for a nerdy guy.

TA: Uno, dos, tres, cuatro,  
Cinco, cinco, seis.

TA: You know it's kind of hard just  
To get along today  
Your subject isn't cool  
But you fake it anyway.

TA: He may not have a clue and  
He may not have style  
But everything he lacks,  
Well, he makes up in denial.

TA: So don't debate,  
A player straight  
You know he really  
Doesn't get it anyway.

TA: Gotta play the game  
And stay alive  
For you no way  
For you no way  
So if you don't rate  
Just over compensate.

TA: At least you'll know  
You can always go on a rampage  
The world needs wannabes, so  
Hey, hey, do that brand new thing.

TA: [Give it to me, baby]  
Uh-huh Uh-huh!  
[Give it to me, baby]  
Uh-huh Uh-huh!  
[Give it to me, baby]  
Uh-huh Uh-huh!  
And all the girlies say  
I'm pretty fly   
[For a nerdy guy.]

TA: He needs some cool tunes  
Not just any will suffice  
But he doesn't have a single clue  
So he bought Blue's Clues.

TA: Now moping around the meteor  
He sees Kanaya as he pass  
But if he looks twice  
She's gonna kick his lily ass.

TA: So don't debate,  
A player straight  
You know he really  
Doesn't get it anyway.

TA: Gotta play the game  
And stay alive  
For you no way  
For you no way  
So if you don't rate  
Just over compensate.

TA: At least you'll know  
You can always go on a rampage  
The world needs wannabes, so  
Hey, hey, do that brand new thing.

TA: So don't debate,  
A player straight  
You know he really  
Doesn't get it anyway.

TA: Gotta play the game  
And stay alive  
For you no way  
For you no way  
So if you don't rate  
Just over compensate.

TA: At least you'll know  
You can always go on a rampage  
The world needs wannabes, so  
Hey, hey, do that brand new thing.

TA: Now he's getting a tattoo, yeah  
He's gettin' ink done  
He asked for a "12"  
But they drew a "21".

TA: Friends say he's trying too hard  
And he's not quite hip  
But in his own mind,  
He's the, he's the dopest trip

TA: [Give it to me, baby]  
Uh-huh Uh-huh!  
[Give it to me, baby]  
Uh-huh Uh-huh!  
[Give it to me, baby]  
Uh-huh Uh-huh!

TA: Uno, dos, tres, cuatro,  
Cinco, cinco, seis.

TA: So don't debate,  
A player straight  
You know he really  
Doesn't get it anyway.

TA: Gotta play the game  
And stay alive  
For you no way  
For you no way  
So if you don't rate  
Just over compensate.

TA: At least you'll know  
You can always go and rampage  
The world needs wannabes  
The world loves wannabes  
Let's get some more wannabes  
Hey, hey, do that brand new thing


	12. Troublemaker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> GamEzi

TC: You're a troublemaker  
You're a troublemaker  
You ain't nothing but a troublemaker sis.

TC: You had me hooked again from the minute you sat down  
The way you bite your chalk  
Got my head spinnin' around  
After a pie or two  
I was putty in your hands  
I don't know if I have the strength to stand.

TC: Oh oh oh  
Trouble, troublemaker [Yeah]  
That's your last name  
Oh oh oh  
I know you're no good but you're stuck in my 'pan  
And I wanna know  
Why does it feel so good but hurt so bad  
Oh oh oh  
My mind keeps saying  
Run as fast as you can  
I say I'm done but then pull me back  
Oh oh oh  
I swear you're giving me a heart attack  
Troublemaker.

TC: It's like you're always there in the corners of my block  
I see a silhouette every time I close my eyes  
There must be poison in this sopor pie of mine  
'Cause I keep comin' back again for more.

TC: Oh oh oh  
Trouble, troublemaker [Yeah]  
That's your last name  
Oh oh oh  
I know you're no good but you're stuck in my 'pan  
And I wanna know  
Why does it feel so good but hurt so bad  
Oh oh oh  
My mind keeps saying  
Run as fast as you can  
I say I'm done but then pull me back  
Oh oh oh  
I swear you're giving me a heart attack  
Troublemaker. 

TC: Why does it feel so good but hurt so bad  
Oh oh oh  
My mind keeps saying  
Run as fast as you can  
I say I'm done but then pull me back  
Oh oh oh  
I swear you're giving me a heart attack  
Troublemaker.

TC: Maybe I'm insane  
'Cause I keep doing the same damn thing  
Think one day I'm gonna change  
But you know just how to work that back  
And make me forget my name  
What the hell you do I won't remember  
I'll be gone until the end  
And you'll show up again in the epilogue.

TC: Yeah yeah yeah  
Typical last name  
Typical last name is Pyrope  
Fit you like a glove sis  
I'm sick of the drama  
You're a troublemaker  
But damn girl I love all of the trouble  
And I can't even explain why.

TC: Why does it feel so good but hurt so bad  
Oh oh oh  
My mind keeps saying  
Run as fast as you can  
I say I'm done but then pull me back  
Oh oh oh  
I swear you're giving me a heart attack  
Troublemaker.

TC: Why does it feel so good but hurt so bad  
Oh oh oh  
My mind keeps saying  
Run as fast as you can  
I say I'm done but then pull me back  
Oh oh oh  
I swear you're giving me a heart attack  
Troublemaker.


	13. You Belong With Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> KatNep

AC: You're pestering with Terezi  
She's upset  
She's going off about you hiding your colors  
'Cause she doesn't get your surffering like I do  
I'm in my cave  
It's a typical chilly night  
I'm drawing to the kind of ships she doesn't like  
And she'll never know your story like I do.

AC: But she wears short shorts  
I wear trench coats  
You're team captain  
And I'm in the background  
Dreaming about the day when you wake up  
And find that what you're looking for has been here the whole time.

AC: If you can see I'm the one who understands you  
Been here all along so why can't you see  
You belong with me  
You belong with me.

AC: Walkin' the halls with you and your big turtleneck  
I can't help thinking this is how it ought to be  
Laughing on a human bed, thinking to myself  
Hey isn't this easy.

AC: And you've got a color that could light up this whole meteor  
I haven't seen it in a while since you started hiding it again  
You say you're fine  
I know you better then that  
Hey what you doing with a girl like that.

AC: She wears high heels  
I wear cat paws  
you're team captain  
And I'm in the background  
Dreaming about the day when you wake up  
And find that what what you're looking for has been here the whole time.

AC: If you can see I'm the one who understands you  
Been here all along so why can't you see  
You belong with me.

AC: Standing by and waiting at your block door  
All this time how could you not know  
Karkat, you belong with me  
You belong with me. 

AC: Oh, I remember you walkin' to my cave in the middle of the night  
I'm the one who makes you laugh  
When you know you're about to cry  
And I know your favorite songs  
And you tell me about your dreams  
I think I know where you belong  
I think I know it's with me.

AC: If you can see I'm the one who understands you  
Been here all along so why can't you see  
You belong with me.

AC: Standing by and waiting at your block door  
All this time  
How could you not know  
Karkat, you belong with me  
You belong with me.

AC: You belong with me  
Have you ever thought just maybe  
You belong with me  
You belong with me.


	14. Make a Man out of You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sollux Captor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for being gone so long, just haven't been really feeling up for it, but this was really fun to make and got me back in the mood of this stuff

TA: Let's get down to business  
To hack the system.  
Did they send me losers,  
When I asked for "pros"?  
You're the saddest bunch I've ever met,  
But you can bet before we're through,  
Mister, I'll have hacked all of you.

TA: Quiet down your typing,  
Find the codes within.  
Once you get the password,  
They just let you in.  
You're all a shit-head, slow pathetic lot,  
And you haven't got a clue.  
Somehow I'll make hackers out of you.

AA: I'm never gonna get a break.

GC: Say goodbye to my poor old fingers.

CA: Why was I a fool in school for cutting class?

EB: This guy's got them scared to death!

TG(Roxy):Hope he doesn't see me sleeping.

CA: Now I really wish that I knew how to swim! [Oh wait.]

ALL: (Hack them all)  
TA: Fingers must be swift as the coursing river,  
ALL: (Hack them all)  
TA: With all the force of a great typhoon,  
ALL: (Hack them all)  
TA: With all the strength of a raging fire,  
Mysterious as the dark side of the moon.

TA: Time is racing toward us,  
'Til we end the game.  
Heed my every order,  
And you might survive.  
You're unsuited for the rage of war,  
So pack up, go home, you're through.  
How could I make a hacker out of you?

ALL: (Hack them all)  
TA: Fingers must be swift as the coursing river,  
ALL: (Hack them all)  
TA: With all the force of a great typhoon,  
ALL: (Hack them all)  
TA: With all the strength of a raging fire,  
Mysterious as the dark side of the moon.

ALL: (Hack them all)  
TA: Fingers must be swift as the coursing river,  
ALL: (Hack them all)  
TA: With all the force of a great typhoon,  
ALL: (Hack them all)  
TA: With all the strength of a raging fire,  
Mysterious as the dark side of the moon.


	15. Make a Man out of You(2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SolKat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so my little sister //insisted// that i made a nsfw solkat version of this song after she learned that i made the other parody, so get your double post in a row you lil turds. i'm not sure how to add specific tags per chapter you make, so this chapter is going to be pretty nsfw and cheesy i guess is the word??

TA: Let's get down to business,  
To fuck Karkat.  
Why'd they send me buckets,  
When I asked for none?  
You're the saddest bitch I've ever fucked,  
But you can bet before we're through,  
Karkat, I'll make a man out of you.

TA: Tranquil as a bulge,  
Before you walk in.  
Once you find your center,  
You are sure to win.  
You're a spineless, pale pathetic troll,  
And you haven't got a clue.  
How much I want to fuck you.

CG: I'm never gonna catch my breath.  
Say goodbye to those who knew me.  
Why was I a fool in school for cutting gym?  
This guy's got me scared to death!  
Hope he doesn't go right through me.  
Now I really wish that I could run!

TA: (Be a man)  
We must be swift as the coursing river,  
(Be a man)  
With all the force of a great typhoon,  
(Be a man)  
With all the strength of a raging fire,  
As horny as Eridan Ampora.

TA: Time is racing for us,  
'Til you're through.  
Heed my every order,  
And you might survive.  
You're unsuited for the rage of sex,  
But unpack, come back, we're not through.  
How could I make a man out of you?

TA: (Be a man)  
We must be swift as the coursing river,  
(Be a man)  
With all the force of a great typhoon,  
(Be a man)  
With all the strength of a raging fire,  
As horny as Eridan Ampora.

TA: (Be a man)  
We must be swift as the coursing river,  
(Be a man)  
With all the force of a great typhoon,  
(Be a man)  
With all the strength of a raging fire,  
As horny as Eridan Ampora.


	16. Gasoline

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soulbot!Aradia Megido (EqAra)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaa eqara is one of my many guilty pleasures and i had to take advantage of this song and i have to give a warning, it's a lot like the original, but it's really early and jesus a lot of muse but no inspiration

AA: Are you plain like me? Been in pain like me?  
Thought a hundred lives were worth ours like me?  
Just to toss these motherfucker down the drain like me?  
Would you use your water to destroy a mistake like me?

AA: Are you high enough without the arrow in your knee like me?  
Do you tear your heart out to entertain like me?  
Do the people whisper 'bout you on the train like me?  
Saying that you shouldn't waste your pretty face like me?

AA: And all the people say,

AA: "You can't wake up, this is not a dream,  
You're part of a machine, you are not a human being,  
With your face all made up, living on a screen,  
Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline."

AA: Oh, oh, oh, oh,  
I think there's a flaw in my code,  
Oh, oh, oh, oh,  
These voices won't leave me alone.

AA: Well my heart is blue, just as you wished it to.

AA: Are you arranged like me? Are you strange like me?  
Playing games just to allow the death of friends like me?  
Do you call yourself a fucking hurricane like me?  
Pointing arrows 'cause you'll never take the blade like me?

AA: And all the people say,

AA: "You can't wake up, this is not a dream,  
You're part of a machine, you are not a human being.  
With your face all made up, living on a screen,  
Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline."

AA: Oh, oh, oh, oh,  
I think there's a flaw in my code.  
Oh, oh, oh, oh,  
These voices won't leave me alone.

AA: Well my heart is blue, just as you wished it to.


	17. Hallelujah

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i just decided to make a parody of karkat singing about tavris, erifef and a little bit of owner/dog cute stuff and very slight arasol i guess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay guys, i am now looking for somebody to do voice-overs for some if not all of my parodies, if //anybody// is interested then you can find me on tumblr at http://thescoura.tumblr.com/ i'm not very active, but i'll look out for any messages

CG: I heard there was a secret chord,  
That Jade had played and it please the lord,  
But you don't really care for me,  
Do ya'?

CG: Well it goes like this,  
The fourth, the fifth,  
The minor fall and the major lift,  
The baffled thief composing hallelujah.

CG: Hallelujah,  
Hallelujah,  
Hallelujah,  
Hallelujah.

CG: Your legs were strong,  
But you needed a push,  
You saw her behind a bush,  
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew ya'.

CG: She threw you off the cliff,  
She broke your legs,  
And she sent your mind adrift,  
And from your lips she drew a "hallelujah".

CG: Hallelujah,  
Hallelujah,  
Hallelujah,  
Hallelujah.

CG: Maybe you've been here before,  
You know his plan and you've walked this road,  
You used to be alone before you knew her.

CG: You've heard his plans since before the game,  
Love is not a victory march,  
It's a cold and it's a broken "hallelujah".

CG: Hallelujah,  
Hallelujah,  
Hallelujah,  
Hallelujah.

CG: I heard there was a secret chord,  
That Jade had played and it please the lord,  
But you don't really care for me,  
Do ya'?

CG: Well it goes like this,  
The fourth, the fifth,  
The minor fall and the major lift,  
The baffled thief composing hallelujah.

CG: Hallelujah,  
Hallelujah,  
Hallelujah,  
Hallelujah.

CG: Hallelujah,  
Hallelujah,  
Hallelujah,  
Hallelujah.

CG: Hallelujah,  
Hallelujah,  
Hallelujah.

CG: Hallelujah,  
Hallelujah,  
Hallelujah,  
Hallelujah.


	18. Colors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> EqDia/AraGam

AA: Your own father never told you but he loves you so  
You said your moirial only smiled on his old memos  
You're only happy when your sorry head is filled with dope  
You hope you make it through the day, you're only 13 years old

AA: You're dripping like a saturated sunrise  
You're spilling like an overflowing sink  
You've been choked by the string but your grin still haunts my dreams  
And now you're tearing through the flesh and the ink

AA: Everything is blue  
His eyes, his blood, his dream  
And now I'm covered in the colors  
Pulled apart at the string  
And it's blue  
And it's blue

AA: Everything is grey  
His hands, his shoes, his sins  
And now he's so devoid of color  
And he's just beginning  
And he's blue  
And he's blue

AA: You were a name mentioned in my head when the flashing lights came through  
I know I've only felt religion when I've lived with you  
You said you'll never be forgiven 'til your boys are too  
And I'm still waking every morning but it's not with you

AA: You're dripping like a saturated sunrise  
You're spilling like an overflowing sink  
You've been choked by the string but your grin still haunts my dreams  
And now you're tearing through the flesh and the ink

AA: Everything is blue  
His eyes, his blood, his dream  
And now I'm covered in the colors  
Pulled apart at the string  
And it's blue  
And it's blue

AA: Everything is grey  
His hands, his shoes, his sins  
And now he's so devoid of color  
And he's just beginning  
And he's blue  
And he's blue

AA: Everything is blue [4x]

AA: You were blue and you liked me 'cause I was red  
You touched me and suddenly I was a blue sky  
And you decided blue suited us

AA: Everything is blue  
His eyes, his blood, his dream  
And now I'm covered in the colors  
Pulled apart at the string  
And it's blue  
And it's blue

AA: Everything is grey  
His hands, his shoes, his sins  
And now he's so devoid of color  
And he's just beginning  
And he's blue  
And he's blue

AA: Everything is blue [4x]


End file.
